Wedding Speeches and Wedding Toasts Made Simple

    For many people a wedding is their first real chance to give a large speech in front of an audience.  If this is the case for you then chances are that you may be very nervous. That's perfectly normal.  In fact, most people giving speeches at weddings probably feel the same way.  Even people who give speeches frequently are often nervous before speaking at a wedding. Don’t look at your anxiety as a sign of failure.

Quite the opposite, in fact: your nervousness may well be the motivation that you need to get started on writing the speech.  Nervousness is something that you can use to your advantage as you prepare for your turn at the microphone.  Once you work on your speech, and use the techniques in this guide, your nervousness will start to subside as you see the progress that you’re making.

    One thing that makes wedding speeches so scary is that guests at a wedding all seem to be waiting for that one speech that will leave the couple speechless and full of emotion.  Many guests seem to expect a speech that will have a great impact on the wedding couple.  The trick to giving a great wedding speech is learning how to turn that nervous energy into a memorable speech! There are several ways to use this nervous energy to your advantage:

•    Everyone gets nervous about public speaking. In fact, some people are more scared of public speaking than they are of dying! Realizing that you are not the only person who is nervous is often one of the first steps to overcoming pre-speech jitters.  Putting your nerves into context makes you feel less “alone” in your anxiety.  It also lets you adopt a more controlled attitude about speech giving.  Many other people are also nervous about speeches and still manage to deliver well composed words despite their nervousness.

•    You have the ideal audience at a wedding.  The wedding guests and Bridal couple that you are speaking to are going to be a very supportive, close, and interested audience while you are giving your speech.  People will be anxious to hear what you have to say. The people attending a wedding are there to celebrate the wedding of two people they know and love, and not to listen to speeches that are perfect.

•    Before you begin work on your speech keep in mind that speeches that are easier to give are generally less scary, easier for your audience to listen to, and more effective as well. Many beginning speech writers want to develop complicated and elaborate speeches that will really “wow” the audience.  However, simplicity is usually best.  

A simple speech is composed of a few key parts:  

•    The hook:  People will be listening to a lot of speeches at a wedding and you want yours to stand out from the rest. The best way to do that is to start by saying something that will catch their attention at the beginning of the speech.  This is called the “hook”. The hook can be in the form of a personal story, a hypothetical scenario that will make people think, or an anecdote about the couple.  A quote can also work well as a way to hook the audience and grab their attention.  Anything that shows why you care about the couple, or why other people should care, will make your audience WANT to listen to what you have to say. You should begin a wedding speech with a hook of some sort.

•    The set up:  Once you have made your audience want to listen to you, you'll want to make it as easy as possible for them to follow your speech from beginning to end. The most effective way to do this is to indicate what tone you will be using and what your speech will cover.  You should NOT give a breakdown of your speech since you want to keep the talk quite short.  However, a simple phrase or sentence that gives your audience a sense of what is to come is always appreciated.

•    The follow-through:  After you've mapped out your speech make sure that you follow your speech map, taking care not to drift too far from what you intended to say.  Generally, you will want to end your speech with a toast or a blessing of some sort.

    While you do not need to follow the above simple speech plan to the letter it does give you a quick idea of what sort of speech outline tends to work well for many speeches.  If you are at a wedding and wish to make a quick toast, or speech on the spot, this simple and easy-to-remember three-part structure will see you through.  This structure can also give you some early ideas about how wedding speeches work and how they can be written.